24 Jul A Thought On Communication, Compatibility, Counseling, and Personality
Relationships that have a building block attitude for growth, manifest themselves into harmony, compatibility, and ultimately love.
In order to understand the building blocks of compatibility, we need to examine the nature by which we communicate. Often, we take communication to mean openly talking and honest information, coupled with a feeling of familiarity. However to communicate with a potential partner it is the actions, movements, and intonation used in the language delivered. Put simply, clear communication is defined by simple things, such as the way you speak confidently, maintain eye contact, or stress words you wish your partner to clearly hear.
To facilitate the best communication on your end you must ACTIVELY listen, by that I want you to do physical actions that SHOW you care to hear your partners conversation. Such actions will include interjections, an example would be if your new date says he is a corporate director of finance…interject, “How long have you been doing that?” Interject again, “Do you love what you do?” Interject again, “What does a typical day consist of?” Then shut up and listen, while smiling. If both parties ACTIVELY listen to each other, you will be setting the foundation for a pattern of behavior…..COMMUNICATION.
Now let’s take the journey to the next level, COMPATIBILITY. This is closely tied to CHEMISTRY. Contrary to advertising slogans and bumper sticker statements, there is no test that will prove two people will generate sparks of chemistry. Compatibility and Chemistry manifest themselves in opinions formed based upon an initial meeting. Too many times these feelings are confused by lust and sexual desire, and a relationship built upon the bricks of lust will lead to the mortar crumbling and the bricks becoming unstable.
The reality is singles meeting for the first time need counseling. At My Top Matchmaker we have comprehensively reviewed feedback from dates and through a scientific breakdown of looking for words common to people who grow into couples and we have found that, couples who spend over 2 hours together when they first meet find out a lot about each other. The key ingredient that led to their feelings of chemistry were not sexual, they were based on laughter and attraction. In a study of 100 clients feedback, 84% went on to start relationships when the words laughter and attractive were included in feedback.
At My Top Matchmaker we have studied how to guide clients toward success. Here are some tips regarding what NOT to do:
- Discuss sex
- Discuss religion
- Discuss having children, and, or, discussing your children
- Drink in excess of 2 alcoholic drinks
- Discuss marriage
- Discuss your ex
- Discuss politics
- Come on too strong and aggressive in your actions
- Discussing too much about any subject over 15 minutes
- Come across as if you are not listening
So here are phenomenal subjects we counsel you to make use of:
- Discuss where your partner grew up
- If they moved what made then move here. If born here, what do they like about living here?
- Discuss favorite music/movies/and TV shows
- Discuss hobbies and interests as my Top matchmaker counseled you to do so
- Discuss if they like their job
- Discuss something they would like to do but have not yet
- Discuss the thing they are most proud of
- Discuss things that My Matchmaker counseled you on, such as the common ground you both share. Your hobbies and interests, if you both scuba dive, both golf, both like the arts, and so much more
- Smile!!! And smile a lot!
- Last but not least a compliment about your partner that is genuine, let your partner know you like them, and would be happy to meet them again!!!